By Jesse G., Teen Portal Staff Writer
Beware of a seasonal disease spreading throughout high schools across America. The disease named Senioritis strikes senior classes mainly after and around the winter break (although the outbreak sometimes begins much earlier) and afflicts both males and females usually around the age of 18 (with a few exceptions).
Symptoms Include:
Extreme Lassitude
Extreme Ennui
Aversion toward work in general
General sluggishness
Restlessness
Loss of motivation
Loss of hearing (strangely only when sitting in classrooms)
Concentrated spurts of malthinking
Extreme attraction to mindless things (ie Youtube videos)
Giddiness
Brain Atrophy
Skin disorders (mainly pen-like marks all over the afflicted patients arms and legs)
Lackadaisical thinking
Procras……………..
Treatment:
While there are no cures for Senioritis, the disease is usually cured upon graduation. However, it is necessary to take some of the following steps to survive the rest of the school year without causing too much damage to your future:
You must remind yourself that academic institutions look at your work all throughout the year.
To ease most symptoms when they are at their worst, find something interesting to distract you -- preferably not arson.
If you sometimes need an excuse from intense working situations, drink a lot of water (then you’ll have to make a lot of trips to both the water fountain and the bathroom!)
Sleep … a lot (It might help with the sluggishness).
Form study groups, so if you nod off during class, a buddy can remind you of the major points of the lesson.
Exercise (to help clarify your thinking and improve concentration).
Warning:
Failing a class, while generally effective in motivating you to try harder next time, does not help with Senioritis and can be habit forming. It may even delay graduation and, thus, prolong the Senioritis. Avoid this treatment at all cost!
Submitted by: I. M. A. Quack M.D.
